Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Well pleased

Just read a blog Lysa Terkeurst wrote that is a lot like the one I just wrote. Only, better put. Heh! Check it out.


Monday, January 17, 2011

I don't know what to name this post... So, wanna read about me and God?

I read a story about a pastor who became imprisoned in another country because of his Christian faith. He was tortured and miserable and asking for deliverance which He was not receiving. He was given the job of cleaning the cesspool of the prison where everyone's human waste collected. He had to get inside the cesspool and scrape out the waste with his hands. This was a job the prison officials gave him to mock him and his faith, in an effort to make him even more miserable. But despite the muck and mire, this pastor realized the cesspool had become his sanctuary because he was able to sing and pray as loudly as he wanted while he worked, because the stench of the cesspool kept everyone including the guards far away at all times. He sang every song and recited every scripture he could remember. This got him through that horrible imprisonment, and despite his awful circumstances, his faith increased because of it.

I felt a call. Even though is it highly unlikely I'll ever be in such a dire situation as that, I want to hold God's Truth in my heart for occasions that this story becomes a metaphor for in my life. When Satan is beating me down with lies and my flesh is agreeing and dragging me further down, I want to be able to make the conscious choice that I will call upon the TRUTH to set me free from that bondage instead of taking the easy route of succumbing to my emotions of the moment. Yes, I felt that call. So now what would I do about it?

I emailed Cissa. I asked her to hold me accountable to memorize the same scriptures she and her kids are working on. Satan didn't like that decision because immediately he put the thoughts into my mind... "You're no good at memorizing things. Scripture especially isn't easy to memorize. We don't talk like that nowadays so it's going to be really difficult for you. Remember how you didn't even get good grades when you were in college? You're kind of incompetent. You haven't memorized a verse since childhood when your brain was pliable like a sponge, so this is going to be extra difficult for you!" But as soon as the "this doesn't come naturally to me" sentence in my email was typed, sent, opened, and read by Cissa, immediately she lovingly rebuked me of those lies. She asked me to commit to the TRUTH that God gave us sound minds and calls us to hold his Word in our hearts, therefore he MAKES us capable - for me to BELIEVE that wholeheartedly and never think "I can't" (in any form or fashion of Satan's cunning words) again! I committed.

So my first task was to memorize 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18. I wrote it on a sticky note and stuck it to the bottom of my computer screen. Throughout the work day I referred my eyes to that sticky note. By the end of the day, I realized I'd had it memorized! GLORY! That night I recited it to Cissa and what a wonderful feeling it was! Then I recited it to Sheri and her two little sisters. Sheri told me now I should write another sticky note for my computer screen that says, "I thought I couldn't memorize scripture, but I can, and I did!" A proclamation of Truth for me to consistently see.

My next memorization verse is 1 Thessalonians 5:15. Then Jeremiah 29:11. Then all of Romans 5. I'm excited for this because I've found myself thinking pretty constantly about 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 and applying it to my life... and I don't think I will EVER forget it. This does so much more for me than just reading scripture off the page. Because I have amnesia. I will quickly forget the goodness and glory of God as I go throughout my day and face situations where choices have to be made -- flesh or Spirit. Flesh or Spirit. Flesh or Spirit. Every single day is that consistent battle. Every hour. No, every moment! It isn't just a case by case fight, it truly is moment to moment. So as surely as I want to know God more every day, I want the difficulty level of these Flesh or Spirit struggles to diminish within me. For me to more "naturally" make the choice to rest in God's truth and peace. Memorizing His Word and holding is sacred, safe, and untouchable in my heart is one way I am making the intentional effort of growing closer to my Lord.

It's something I've "heard" since I was little but never had the desire for until now!

Thank you for that desire God! YOU ARE GOOD!

Saturday, January 8, 2011

The love we always dreamed of

You think fairytales aren't real?
Our fairytale is in the long ride home
His hand on my leg and his music on
It's in my gasp of fear as he drives
When an idiot dares to pass us by
In the argument it starts for us
It's in the sorries, I love yous, and forgiveness

You think fairytales aren't real?
Our fairytale started with a computer message just to say hi
It started when an Oklahoma girl fell in love with a hardcore guy
It started in the joy of hello and agony of goodbye
It started with I'm moving there and don't you even think twice

You think fairytales aren't real?
It's in the dog hair, dirty socks, and cracks in the wall
It's learning how to sacrifice and fight for it all
No matter how much you punish him for breaking your heart
The fairytale lives when you choose to live on

Tuesday, January 4, 2011


I've been cooking yummy Zone diet dinners for Bry...

Have been annoyed with my pharmacy/the manufacturer of my acne meds because it is on back order and I've been without it for a week...

Have enjoyed Bry's new work schedule because it means I have lots of time to spend time with God, clean the house, read, & relax...

I got to have my first drink of soda in a year in a half...

We had a famous people siting at Mimi's Cafe! I gave Bry "the eyes" to get him to agree to bothering Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook for a picture...

Spending time with my husband is my #2 most favorite thing in the world because he loves me so well and makes me laugh so hard...

Life is...

That is all. :)