Monday, February 27, 2012

It will be sweet.

So here's an update on my dad:

There's no cancer in his bones! Or bladder or surrounding areas. Yes! His cancer is stage 2 or 3 (they wouldn't know which unless they were able to go in and look at the prostate itself). He is a Gleason 9 - which means the concentration of cancer cells on one area of the prostate is 90%. Because of this high Gleason number, many of the treatment options were described to us by his doctor to be less than ideal. So dad is opting for a total removal. The side effects are impotence and 5% of men also suffer from incontinence. That's a really low number though, so that's great.

His PET scan showed that there are some 4mm nodules on his lungs. These scans are so sensitive that they pick up everything, so it could be cause for alarm, or may not be. It could be related to his COPD. So, on March 2nd he's having a pulmonary test done to check out those nodules and generally evaluate his lungs to see if they're in good enough condition for him to go under for the prostate removal surgery. On March 7th, he will be doing cardiac tests to make sure his heart can also undergo the surgery. If both of those check out well, he'll be having the surgery done quickly after those test results come back. Then he'll be down for the count for about 2-3 weeks. Then our sweet Titus will be born! Dad will be in good enough shape to at least hold him by then.

If his pulmonary and cardiac tests don't check out, we'll be looking at radiation or cryotherapy. I'm praying that we won't even have to go there. Best case scenario would be to just get the entire cancerous prostate taken right out!

We really like the robotic surgeon who dad would have do his removal surgery. He said that a best-of-the-best expert will do about 20 of these surgeries a year, and he does about 20 a month! There have been about 4,000 of these surgeries performed, and he's done 600 of them himself! And has a 100% success rate. So, we feel very confident in that.

So, now onto other things...

Today I am 32 weeks 6 days pregnant with our little Titus. There are only 51 more days until we're at 40 weeks! Hitting the near 50 day mark has been making it feel pretty real to me recently! I am a mother! Incredible! I already love him so much. I am so excited to meet him.

Bryan is going to paint his bedroom this weekend. I am very excited for that. Then all we need to do is get his crib put together, get his pre-assembled dresser out of the box, and wait to see what the baby showers bring. :) This Saturday is my church shower and next Saturday is my regular baby shower. I am so excited to gather with my friends and family and celebrate my little love! And SO grateful to the sweet women who have been planning and putting together these celebrations. I am so blessed!

Yesterday I completed the list of songs for a mix CD my friend is making me to play when I go into labor, I'm in the midst of reading 'The No Cry Sleep Solution', and thinking about things like what scented candles to buy and where to put the birth pool, and paying the midwives off this Thursday, and Bryan coming to a midwife appointment for the first time, and the Scriptures I've compiled for encouragement during labor, and just... all of the little details of having a home birth. It's what is consistently in the back of my mind. Coolest part is, I'm also soaking in these days of not having Titus here yet and not wishing these days away. Soon my every move and thought will be about what is best for Titus. Right now, I can still jump out of bed and be on my way somewhere in less than 10 minutes. Right now, I can take a shower for as long as I want any time I want. Right now, I can write long blog posts, and clean, and nap, and read, and have silence, and meet friends places without worrying about if the place is baby friendly or breastfeeding or what time that is on Titus's nap or feeding schedule, or needing a babysitter. Right now, I can pick up and go on a date with Bryan for as long as I want.

So I realize that these are precious times. I realize that I won't ever have them back. :) And I'm not sad about that. I'm not anxious about either chapter of my life, the one ending or the one beginning. God's peace is lavished all over it. Titus was created for such a time as this! He is being knit together in my womb with purpose and love and with a plan laid out for his life. He will dramatically change Bryan and I's lives as we know it. And it will be sweet.

Monday, February 13, 2012

A random splattering of the past while in iPhone photos

See that tiny sweet little baby? Our niece Kailen. She is having her first birthday in just over a week! This year has passed too quickly!

Baby Brock. I babysat him for almost a year. I miss him so much already! Hopefully he and Titus can become good friends.

My beautiful Cissa! I love her so
much. I can't even put in words how much she means to me.

Fun vacation in California in July!

My Newberry kiddos <3

A fun Twilight movie date with Jenni!

I finally got to meet baby Charlotte!

I miss my Shel Bel


A date with my Rachel

Babysitting all my favorites at once! :)

Cissa ran her first marathon!

Plucked Bryan's first gray hair

A delicious date with Bryan celebrating the end of his strict Whole 30 diet

A doctor appointment with my daddy

My Blalocks.

Dru is 4!

This sugar dog that is my constant sweet companion

This man that I am deeply devoted to. My love.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Hi there, it's been a while

My last post was written after we'd just found out we were having a baby! Today I am 30 weeks 6 days pregnant, with our little boy Titus John. John is after my daddy, and Titus is after Titus of the Bible - another Timothy under Paul - a great man of God. The meaning I love the most of the name Titus is "saved". I believe the meaning of a name is very important in the eyes of God and I hope that Titus will grow into a great man of God in honor of the name given him.

So we don't have much time before he's born now! The midwife appointments have upped to every 2 weeks now, my belly button is almost popped out, Titus has hand-me-downs and gifts already waiting for him, he has a crib and dresser waiting to be taken out of the boxes and assembled, and walls waiting to be painted. The color has been chosen, the items have been put on a registry, the baby showers are being planned, and I'm getting lots of read time with birth and baby books.

At the turn of the last trimester I decided I should take time off from babysitting. So I said goodbye to my 3 times a week gig of watching baby Brock (with tears) and decided not to commit to other babysitting so that I can commit my time to getting our home and my heart ready for parenthood. It's been a wonderful time. Lots of time spent at my kitchen table with decaf coffee or tea and books, Bible, and journal. Lots of online research. The opportunities to atttend breastfeeding and cloth diapering classes. As a new mommy I am so thirsty for information! This is a brand new world to me. Titus and I will be making the foot steps on the ground on this one.

Bryan has really stepped into the supportive role of working his tush off around the house the last couple weeks. We procrastinated a lot of to-dos and I ashamedly admit it would get to me from time to time, but now that those to-dos are steadily getting checked off the list, I am de-stressing and it feels so nice. Between his work schedule, and CrossFit, and other activities, and needing to rest, and needing to spend time with his wife, my husband's time is a hot commodity. I am so grateful that he puts in hard unpaid work to serve me around here. It's so nice to be able to look at this newly painted living room walls and feel serenity in my heart about giving birth in this home. It may seem trite, but it makes so much of a difference!

Another new challenge that has been introduced into my life is my dad's being diagnosed with prostate cancer. From where I was in life when I dealt with the grief of Staci's breast cancer and passing, to where I am now is astounding - by the grace of God am I here! By the work of His Spirit inside me am I able to bear this fruit of peace! It's unexplainable how I am able to not worry. How I am able to not fear the worst outcome. How I am able to completely trust God's will and goodness and love for us. I trust Him completely with my dad's life. I trust Him completely with Melody's. And mine, Titus's and Bryan's. What else could I feel but peace at the hands of God? The same God who fashioned the stars, moon, sun, and earth made me and made my dad and intentionally designed our lives for His glory. How beautiful. How comforting.

Today I am going with my dad to a doctor's appointment to talk about his cancer. We're awaiting news on his recent PET scan that will reveal whether he has any cancer in his bones. He'll be undergoing many other tests to find out whether there's cancer in any other parts of his body, then they will stage him, and then he will decide on a course of treatment. No matter what news comes may I always rest in the arms of my loving heavenly Father!

It's hard to grasp that I could be bringing Titus into this world in just 9 short weeks (or so). I know that life as I know it will be turned upside down and inside out in the most beautiful and fascinating of ways. I anticipate it with excitement and joy! I anticipate it with the realness of knowing the potential ugly parts. I pray that for all of my days that I will rely fully on the strength of God that is strong in my weakness. Thank you Lord for your Son! Thank you for mine, who I will have to learn to release to you every day over and over.

This is a surreal season of life. I'm enjoying every day. Even being able to glance back at the icky parts and having awe about the circumstances that have taught me something.

Man, my husband is my rock. He holds my heart in my chest in his arms. All it takes is a sweet word, a warm hug, an anticipated prayer and I am reassured of his love and devotion to me. He is what helps me know I can do this. He is going to be such a wonderful daddy. I can't wait to see him with his son. My heart melts at only the thought of it. To see it in action will probably cause me to explode.

All I can think of is that there is power in the name of Jesus. So, Jesus Jesus Jesus................ oh Jesus.